10 things that I’m gonna do… list. Srsly!

Ooh a list… I just love lists. Here’s 10 things I’m going to do. And soon. I’ll blog about each one (maybe?) and you can comment and make fun or say something witty about how awesome my list/task is. I mean, why don’t I write on here anymore? I need a silly stupid post (or 10) about something every once in a while. My blog used to be me bitching about how hard it was to be a SAHM and an Attached Parent. Then I decided no one cared! And why should they? Now my blog is about being fat. Because I’m obsessed with losing weight that refuses to leave my body already. Or about wine/food. Of course…

My Whole30 was a bit of a joke. I was just sipping wine tonight thinking about WOW how I could NEVER give this up. Not even for a month. “I might be pregnant next month. So eff that.” I say to myself. That’s pretty dumb. It really makes me feel like garbage anyhow. But I SO look forward to having some whenever I can. Oh yes, I do.

A list of stuff I want to do: (somewhat realistic, that is)

1. Infuse KettleOne vodka with something tasty. Like blood orange from the farmers market.

2. Make coconut flour pancakes that make me like pancakes. They really don’t do anything for me.

3. Sew the toddlers’ long sleeve shirts into shortsleeves rather then the cut off white trash version. It’s for the summer and to play in mostly. They are ill fitting being 3 sizes too small. I’m thrifty like that.

4. Do something with this sad mop of hair. It was a cute cut until the blowout needed to be washed. Now it’s a frizzy mess. WTF?

5. Join a wine club. Oh please, can I cram this into our already (overspending) budget? Someone help!

6. Exercise for a week straight without stopping because of extreme soreness or groin injury from first attempt at sprints. Really tho?

7. Do just ONE pull-up. Just ONE. 

8. Write more on this blog about important stuff like lists of things I’ll never do.

9. Lose 20 pounds by December so I can gain it ALL back in December once pregnant. Pointless?

10. Eat Paleo/Primal. Stop. Eating. Junk! Track results somehow? People say “You look great” how can that be? I lose nothing on the scale. My measurements, the same. Strange?

Weight-loss Woes

Will I *ever* lose any substantial amount of weight? Or do I just need to accept myself the way I am? You’d think that giving up grains, most sugar, processed foods and now dairy would have told the body to do something. Nope. I’ve been gaining and losing the same goddamn 2-3 pounds every month. It’s getting old, let me tell you.

Here’s some background on the body I once had. I miss it dearly…

In 2005 I headed to a Weight Watchers meeting and was impressed. I signed up. I lost 75 pounds. It took a damn near 3 years to do it. But I did it. Then in 2009, I got pregnant. Miscarried at 8 weeks along. Was devastated. Wanted a baby even MORE. Got pregnant again, it took. She is now 2.5. I still weigh the same amount I did when I gave birth to her.

After being diagnosed with Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis, I started to see what my thyroid was (and was not) doing. And that was regulating my body weight. I was eating as little as 1500 calories and lost nothing. And we are talking 6 weeks of HARDCORE calorie counting. I then decided to ditch the iPhone App madness and eat a paleo/primal diet. I love it, I must say and don’t think I’ll ever return to grains. I’ve been cutting dairy out, significantly in the last 2 weeks. I drink my tea/coffee with no sugar. No splenda. No stevia. Straight up. The indulgences I partake in are (you guessed it) wine in the evenings (not every evening!) and dark chocolate. I did this on Weight Watchers for 3 years. I drank heavily back in my mid to late 20s. I lost the weight then. What GIVES?

“You just need to exercise!” Ooooh of course I do. Yes. Well I’ve been walking/biking every day, run after a 2yo, go hiking on the weekends. What’s that then? Isn’t that exercise? It’s exactly the kind Mark Sisson (Mark’s Daily Apple) suggests here. Why can’t I just lose a few pounds? I go down a pound or two, but only when I’m not ovulating and the obvious menses. I seem to weigh less right BEFORE menses. But all in all, the same weight. Day after day, week after week, month after month. I give up! (not really, just love to complain about it. Shake my fist at the sky, that sort of thing).

Will a cross-fit type circuit training really work for me? Will sprinting even ONCE a week break my bodies’ love affair with extra belly flab? Any suggestions, people?

Whole 30 Challenge: FAIL

So wow. I couldn’t even do it for 5 days straight!!! I cheated pretty much the entire day yesterday. I had a great day however.

We had the best best BEST family day. First, we tried a new restaurant that had the most delicious sandwiches, salads and burgers. I was being a good girl and ordered a salad with no cheese. Balsamic dressing. Then my DH got the burger, no cheese either. Fruit instead of fries. Well– our food came and the salad was MASSIVE and so delicious. But guess what? I noticed right away that the balsamic dressing was the creamy variety and the best tasting balsamic I’ve had in A LONG TIME. So I scarfed that salad so fast my DH barely got any. Ha. Then his burger came with fries. NoooooOoOOoOOOooooo! Oh you know I wasn’t about to sit there and not just have… one. I had a few, for sure. But stuck to my salad. Even had an iced tea with lemon and no sugar that was super tasty and refreshing!

Next, we took an 3-4 hour hike in a beautiful regional canyon park near where we live. Wowza. It was amazing and a great workout. After that, we were craving our favorite gastropub downtown and wanted to head to the weekly street fair/farmers market thereafter. Well– guess what? I had chicken satay which has a peanut sauce. But I was good and didn’t slather in the sauce and after that, a few glasses of wine and burger sliders. No bun, no cheese however.

Once we hit the farmers market we were bombarded with vendors and samples. I had some sugar then, of course. Le Sigh! At least we walked some and hiked all day. But still, I had *many* things on the list that I shouldn’t have had. The second day in a row now… I should just quit, shouldn’t I?

Maybe not, now that I am writing this. I ate almost entirely Whole30 compliant this morning. Am having my tea with no sugar. But I have an itchy feeling I’ll be hankering for a glass of vino to compliment my herb crusted roasted chicken, no doubt. And this isn’t fair to say I’m doing a “Whole 30 Challenge” when I’m really *not* am I? I can stick to it most days of the week. But I’m feeling deprived and know my vino days are heading to an end as we will be trying to have another baby soon.

Le Sigh. I’m just not ready.

Whole 30 Challenge: Day five

So yesterday was a rough one. After it taking much more time grocery shopping and spending more, I feel like this challenge is too hard. I have a 2 year old. I have a tight budget. I have work as a freelancing designer, it’s A LOT. I am in the kitchen much more then I ever have been. And while this is OK and even enjoyable for me, some things are getting neglected because of my obsession with food, loosing weight, eating healthy.

I did indulge in some pinot grigio last night and then even had a glass of red wine. Baaaaad! But you know what? That’s the THE ONLY thing I indulged in. Everything else was Whole30 compliant. Am I allowed one cheat? We shall see. I did wake in the middle of the night with major gas an. I’m not sure if it’s the wine, it makes me think… wow this is weird. I feel like garbage today as well. I know I need to lay off of it, it’s very hard. I know once I get pregnant for #2, I won’t have the opportunity. So I felt insanely deprived. Maybe today and the rest of the weekend will be all Whole30. This is my goal!

Breakfast:
Cantaloupe and green tea 

Lunch:
A salad from a highly Yelp rated market. I will make sure it’ll be on plan.

Dinner:
Roasted chicken and green beans. 

Whole 30 Challenge: Day four

Woke up SUPER early today. Thanks to the toddler face and her wacky sleep/wake times. I just can’t get a handle on them. Lucky for her I work from home and I am used to sleep deprivation. Yeah. Thyroid issues suck.

Feeling good though, not caring much about sugar. Last night I did have a bit of a sweet attack but luckily, fruit was good enough. Loving that!

Breakfast:
Delicious eggs with my lovely organic ghee
Sweet potatoes fried in coconut oil with cinnamon and salt

Lunch:
Ugh. Chicken. Salad. AGAIN. I couldn’t eat it all this time. So sick of it. So I made a mishmash smoothie with banana, a larabar, frozen blueberries and coconut flakes. Yes and sun tea for extra flavor. That’s one I’d never have thought of. Tasted pretty darn good!

Dinner:
Hoping to do a Thai Style wrap thingie. I have no idea what I’m doing for dinner… Le Sigh! Update: Did some DELISH bison burgers which were on sale at Sprouts. YUMMY! And totally Whole30 compliant… Some bell peppers, avocado, onions and tomatoes to go with. It was great on the BBQ.

Snack:
Larabar, strawberries and blueberries.

Oooh dear. I’m currently having a glass of wine (or 3). Guess I’m cheating today. I’m not starting over. Just having one of those days…

Whole 30 Challenge: Day three

Oh what a fun day with the toddler! First, we go out to lunch with daddy, then, the library. Or two. She was closing in on nap time and was acting like a wild animal in the super quiet parts of the library but sheesh people, she’s only 2 years old. I got some looks that were, suffice to say, not happy smily faces. I just laughed about that. Who cares!

Breakfast:
Asian chicken salad with a dressing that probably had soy and sugar in it. Oh well. It was freaking good.
A half a bottle of kombucha with the DH. Oh that stuff. Tastes/looks weird. Still can get over the billion organisms thing going down my throat!

Lunch:
Another chicken salad. Leftover from my forman grill. I decided I hate Target’s frozen chicken. It’s just not good. Next time, stick with Trader Joe’s.

Dinner:
Shrimps marinated in masala spices from the farmers market. Holy crap. Delish! Too bad mama was so distracted while cooking to realize these shrimpies were not cleaned. Ooops. We had to pull off the skins and tails so we had some messy yellow stained fingers. But it was soooo good.

Sweet potato, sweet onion and garlic sautéed in my lovely organic ghee, coconut oil and olive oil. I mixed some coriander, cumin and turmeric to make a curry-ish side dish to compliment my lovely shrimps. Oh and I sprinkled some cinnamon too… So good!

Snacks:
Plantain chips that were “roasted” but had sunflower oil in them? I’m debating if it’s Whole30 compliant. I also did kale chips and plan on having a smoothy for dessert! Or not… still full!

DH is off the wagon… Shocker…

Whole 30 Challenge: Day two

Well, yesterday wasn’t so hard. I think I can do this. Until the weekend, I hope the sugar/wine demons don’t tempt me too much. The one thing I did notice was a weird dizzy spell last night. Dinner was not great– I did not like that london broil at all– it was very chewy. Too meaty. I know, right? My DH and toddler loved it though. So I think I under ate a bit. I am nursing a toddler still a few times a day so I need to eat enough. I snacked on some watermelon and strawberries with a bit of almond butter.

I am noticing an overall aversion to food, especially today. This happens to me however, sometimes. Mostly when I was pregnant. No, I am not pregnant. Sure of that. I hope that goes away soon.

Here is what today looks like:

Breakfast:
Sweet potato rounds with cinnamon fried in olive oil/homemade ghee.
Egg scramble with bell pepper, cherry tomatoes and garlic.
Cup of Fresh and Easy green tea with pomegranate and blueberry which is MUCH tastier then black coffee. Oui.

Lunch:
Chicken grilled on the foreman grill and salad. Whipped up an avocado dressing. It was good. Not great. Good. 
Half an orange my toddler wouldn’t eat.

Dinner:
Turkey breast in the crock pot. I am adapting a Crockpot 365 recipe. That chick is hi-larious. No butter (omg!) so I melted half a stick or so, sifted off the solids with a slotted spoon. It’s close enough to ghee. I just don’t have the time for paper towel draining! No wine either, so I am going to use water. Can you freaking BELIEVE most chicken broths in the box have sugar in them? Le Sigh. Oh and a squeeze of orange for some acidity.

Perhaps some butternut squash with some cinnamon, or left over veggies from last night.

Snack:
Trying to not snack on nuts and fruit but since I can’t have my trader joes’ cheese sticks…  Hope I feel better about food tomorrow.

The toddler is grossing me out to the max today– would she just *stop* spitting out food onto my plate? UGH! But gosh I just love her when she’s telling stories that I get maybe three or four words of. Then I say “aren’t you sick of that?” and she goes “sick cough cough”. Hahaha I meant sick like, tired of it. Love toddlers for this very reason. Oh and last night… she. read. words. AGAIN! Off of daddy’s shirt, from a menu, from the TV. Can a 2yo seriously read or is this just amazing word recognition? I knew she always loved anything in type but had NO IDEA I’d see her reading words. Crazy…

Whole 30 Challenge: That means no wine for 30 days…

So I am joining the crunchy mother woman hippy revolution and doing a Whole 30 Challenge. If you haven’t heard, it’s basically eliminating grains and really, anything that comes in a box with a label. Which is all crap in the long run, and you know it. I will miss pizza. I really miss half and half and cane sugar in the coffee. Most of all, I’ll miss my wine. And it’s only day one!!!

The toddler barely eats at all these days so I broke down and got her a box of Annie’s Cheddar Bunnies. They are calling to me as we speak and the girl isn’t eating those either. Le Sigh. Now they just sit there and tempt me all damn day. I had a few this last weekend. I noticed the crappy bloating feeling from doing so. I stepped on the scale too and noticed WOW my weight is still where it was a month ago. Even with eating paleo/primal most of the time, exercising somewhat regularly and taking the levothyroxine the doc prescribed. What freaking gives??!?!?!

Oh, maybe those glasses of wine in the evenings. Which we all know lead to dark chocolate and various other desserts I do not need. But cmon, it’s supposed to be 80/20 or something anyway… Yeah, I don’t think it’s going to work for me unless I really try 100%. Yay.

So I got to thinking. Let me just print out the *rules* for the Whole 30 Challenge and see what husbeast says. He’s on board. WHAT? Yes. He said he’d try. Guess what he did? Ate oreos for breakfast this AM. Well– ok, he’s at least going to be supportive of me. And, if all goes well, it’ll end on the 4th of July. Perfect timing for me to have a celebratory glass of wine! And it’s only 30 days right? I can do this! There is no way I won’t loose at least *some* weight and I’ll supposedly feel amazing. I can DO THIS.

And so, I decided that I will write about it. No, I won’t take pictures of my food/plates. Unless you want to look at a sink full of dirty dishes. That’s pretty much my house 24-7 these days. If you want food pron paleo-style, go to Nom Nom Paleo, she’s amazing! I will however mention what I’m eating. And would love to get suggestions/recipes/tsks about how I’m doing it wrong, etc.

Breakfast:
I drank coffee black today. It felt blasphemous.

Filet mignon (darn it was bacon wrapped! I didn’t eat *all* the bacon) and eggs at a local diner. Fruit on the side I didn’t touch. I know, I know, they probably fried everything in a seed oil, no, I didn’t bother asking. I’m not that hardcore.

Ice tea. No sugar! The squeeze of lime made it good!

Lunch:
A forman grilled chicken breast with 21 season salute from Trader Joe’s, romaine, tomato, carrot salad. With olive oil and balsamic.

Some grapes and canned pear. Because I’m ghetto like that. Yes, I know about the BPA. Tell Target to stop selling it then, yeah?

Dinner:
Balsamic, garlic and basil marinated london broil I hope to not overcook. I hate a tough steak! Kale and zucchini sauté in the juices. And some fruit for dessert (maybe), NOT WINE OR DARK CHOCOLATE!